"Ogres in Love" contest on OgreCave.com

In cooperation with Mongoose Publishing, the Cave Dwellers of OgreCave have put together a little contest. Why? To celebrate next month's release of The Slayer's Guide to Ogres, of course. Not that we want ogres to get slain, least of all us. But a book about ogres is something we want to make noise about, and having ogres join the ranks of the Slayer's Guide series does a Cave Dweller's heart good.

So, considering the time of year, we want you to turn your thoughts to the unthinkable in order to win our little contest. In 100 words or less, tell us what you envision an ogre's Valentine's Day to be like (and keep it clean, folks). Think of what one of the massive humanoids would do in the persuit of amorous relations (hey, I said keep it clean!), and get to typing.

Just send your description to ogresinlove (at) ogrecave (dot) com, and do your best to impress us. We'll only accept one attempt per email address. When all is said and done, we'll reprint the best responses on OgreCave and announce the winner of our prize: a copy of The Slayer's Guide to Ogres, hot off the presses.

So put on some Barry White, start slamming back the chocolates, buy yourself roses -- whatever it takes. But send us your best, most amusing entry by 12 midnight (PST) on February 14. At that point, we'll go over all the entries and select the best description of an ogre's Valentine's Day as the winner. But don't bash the keyboard with an uprooted tree; it doesn't help, trust us.

UPDATE: The contest is closed. We'll have a winner to announce shortly

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All entries submitted become property of OgreCave.com. Submitting an entry constitutes acceptance of these terms. Entries may be reprinted on OgreCave for entertainment purposes. Only one entry per email address. OgreCave.com and Mongoose Publishing cannot be held responsible for lost/misdirected email entries or prizes.